What daily habit do you do that improves your quality of life?
I take a pinch of Universe that helps me face the day delightfully.
Depending on how much time I have, I do a little yogic breathing (pranayam), a few sun salutations (surya namaskar) and offer a little gratitude.
On some days, when I have had a rushed morning, once I arrive at the car park in the office, I’ll do a few quick pranayams to calm my nerves, realign my chakras and recharge myself for the long day ahead.
When I do this, I feel like I have taken a pinch of the Universe within me because it leaves me reverberated.
India has advanced so much. Women education, women empowerment, etc. We see women becoming all rounders in corporates, sports, politics, any industry you pick.
Indian parents are so proud when daughters achieve success. They brag and share with society.
When the same daughter marries and becomes part of the new family, everything that her family was proud of is taken for granted. Not only that, she is expected to be at par with the daughters-in-law of the generation before.
No one is proud of her achievements anymore, rather it is less talked about. If someone else praises her, it is received with a pinch of salt.
Moreover, her achievements are kept hidden, less talked about but the same family will talk loud and proud of their daughters and sons.
The heartbreaking thing is that older women of the families do this.
We live in the era of Selective Patriarchy which is more damaging because the girl has to keep changing her mindset and stance depending on whether she is at her parents’ home or at in-laws’.
Unknowingly they end up accepting it so much that they don’t realise when they become part of this and pass it on to the next generation.
It is time we take a breath, a pause and reflect where we are headed and consciously break the latest generational trauma.
I watched a movie a long time ago, I don’t remember the story or the name, what I do remember is a moment when a thought struck me.
There was a group of people who were trying to leave planet Earth to find a better life on a distant planet in some distant galaxy.
They face challenges on the way and even after they arrive at the destination. Leading them to one thing they know best. Fight, get political advantage, divide into groups, compete amongst themselves, jealousy….
I remember a woman’s face who was a mother in a scene where she feels beaten because in pursuit of finding a better life, she finds herself entangled in the same problems.
If you carry your old mindset in modern society, society will remain exactly what it is today.
Conquering my fears is one of my hobbies and off lately I am quite invested in it.
Last week, I completed CBT on a geared motorbike. Never ridden a geared motorbike before independently and I completed a CBT!!!! (Compulsory Basic Training, completion of which allows one to ride a motorbike up to 125cc in the UK).
I did have an option to switch to moped but I fought through my fears, and completed it on a geared motorbike.
To test my conviction, it was a summer day albeit with stormy winds and rain, typical of English weather! However I felt a great sense of achievement in doing it.
The other thing I did was not much conquering fear but rather conquering a psychological block. I have been to shows or concerts alone before in my home country, but never done that in the UK, let alone having done that after having kids. I do go on day outs by myself but never been to a show in London.
Earlier last week, I went to a stand up comedy show in London by myself.
At the end of last week, we travelled to Orebro, Sweden for a city break. On one of the two days that we were there, we went to a popular waterpark, Gustavsvik. It was an outstanding waterpark with excellent ambience, planning and design. I am usually scared of doing any rides.
However, passionate about conquering my fears lately, I went on a medium level ride. I was met with gushing water at the end, that went into my nose and ears making me dizzy. A few mins later, I was climbing up again for the ride. After that I went on the lowest impact slide with my friend. The slide was to be done with rings. It was fun and not at all scary. So I tried the next level with my husband, followed by yet another level, which was the highest level. It did scare me, but I don’t regret it.
Continuing to conquer our little fears helps generate brain cells that keep you young and energised. Further, a little zest in life never hurts!
What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?
This subject has been running in my mind for quite some time. I take this as the universe’s nudge to write about it. I actually opened this app to jot down something about today which I wanted to capture but that’s gonna come out in the next post now.
Having it all!!
The overrated concept of the illusionary definition of success – is how I would put it..
Let’s break it down.. ‘All’ is different for everyone. For some it could mean, work, family, home, chill.. For others it could mean, a little more – work, family, home, chill, hobbies.. For yet others, it could mean something else..
The first mistake we make is when we subject ourselves to this generic concept or definition of ‘All’. Therefore, the first step is to define Your All.
When you do this, you are liberating yourself from the society imposed ambition.
The second step is to then figure out how to achieve your all. It’s more of a mental journey. Imagine, day dream about what you’ll do to achieve it. Dream about it every night before going to bed. Work out a routine that will support this. Share it with your partner, bring them onboard. Take their suggestions, esp if you have young children as you doing your all will impact the partner and children.
Train your brain. This is the next step. Train yourself to follow this routine, to chase the dream, to break the mental blocks.
As you train yourself, your family will silently watch you, and also slowly accept. My daughter today came to the door to see me off as I was leaving to chase one of my dreams and her words, enjoy your day, mamma, and then tell me all about it at night..
Her words put me at peace for leaving them, assured me that it’s learning for them too, and soothed my lingering guilt.
I write this as I travel to London, on my own, on a weekend i.e. leaving my kids with my husband, to enjoy a stand up comedy show. Read my next blog for this experience!
We went to see the India Pak ICC semi finals at our friends’ home. Their son, 5 years old, greeted me by my name. In our culture, we always address elders as uncle or aunty. So when he called me by my name, I was pleasantly surprised and hoped that his parents didn’t hear (he would have been mildly told off). I responded very fondly and he gave me a hug.
Few minutes later, he compliments me for my top. I was again pleased and thanked him. He then says, “I like your belt and jeans also, in fact, I like your entire outfit”
OMG 😱 That has been the bestest compliment I ever received.
You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?
It may sound cliche to some but the moment I receive good news I instantly thank the universe. Even if it’s for a second. If I am around people, it is likely to be a very subtle, inner most little thank you note that no one would notice. My thoughts in the background or when I get some time alone would be around offering more gratitude, being humble, telling myself to be humble and sensitive. Especially to those who may have lost an opportunity when I gained it. And moreover promising myself to never forget the journey.
Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?
I was never allowed to buy books in my youth. I was only allowed to borrow or read used books. My mother was very clear about my book allowance and always told me that I need to learn to develop my interest and know my genre before I could buy books.
Having grown up that way, I was always afraid of asking for money to buy a book. I quickly learned that I could read more books with the same money, so that never really bothered me.
One day, we were visiting some mall that had various sections for different types of merchandise. It also had a books section. They are like magnets for me. My heart took me there. I got slightly separated from my family. I must have been 18 or 19 years old.
I started browsing. I knew I couldn’t buy anything but I’d always browse, remember the name of the book I’d like and then begin the search for it. That era wasn’t as digital as now. So the search was real, not Google.
Randomly I picked up Brida. I had never heard of Paulo Coelho. I read the description. First couple of pages. I lost track of time. Suddenly my dad appeared in front of me. He said it was time to go. I asked if I could get this book. He was doubtful. Mum was out of earshot. There was no time to ask her. I insisted. Him being the best dad, got me the book. Mum wasn’t very pleased as she wasn’t consulted. By the way, she is an avid reader and has a collection of her own that she is very proud of.
Anyway, I went home with Brida. There was something about the cover page. Something about the book.
Soon a unique journey began.
Once I finished reading it, it wasn’t enough. I read it again. And again. And lost count of how many times.
Over time, I knew the book. Almost memorised it. So I stopped reading it end to end. I’d just open it randomly and it would offer me exactly what I’d need that day. The book would know what I was going through.
It was my companion through my engineering. Through my heartbreak. Through my challenges.
One day I realised that I might be addicted to it. So I stopped reading it. Of course over all these years I also read many other books but Brida was my constant.
I hadn’t read Brida in a few years but just looking at it on my book shelf gave me assurance. However when I got married and moved countries, I didn’t bring it with me. I thought I am starting a new life, I need to come out of my dreamy world. I cannot be so emotionally dependent on it.
After a few years, on one of my trips back home, I brought it with me. Assured that I am not so attached to it now.
Looks like a sign to me to embark on a journey again with Brida. Now, as a grown woman and a mother, Brida might offer me something new.
It’s been there for a few years and I haven’t read it yet.
Although suddenly a few days back, I thought of it. Out of nowhere. And imagined or rather manifested this blog post. But I didn’t put conscious thought into it and soon forgot about it.
Tonight I wanted to write about my refreshing chilly morning that I had experienced yesterday so I opened my blog. I saw this prompt and this post became reality.
When I am in high spirits, vibrating at high frequency where nothing from this world can touch me.
I achieve this state when I am able to maintain a routine and stay in discipline. Laundry done, eaten home cooked food, children healthy, house tidy, meditation / introspection done, physical activeness in check etc.
What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?
Lots of little things but mainly the mindset. No matter how your day has been, if you end it right, it won’t carry the baggage to the next day.
And it is purely your choice to end it right. Some days I’ll have time and energy to either introspect or read a book, but some days I’d be exhausted. Yet a switch in mind to choose to shut off is in your hands.
Once you have control over your mental health, physical health falls into place. Because then you aren’t eating unhealthy. You are internally motivated to stay active.
On days when I feel overwhelmed or underwhelmed, I try to use easy distractions like TV, self care like oiling my hair or doing my nails. And force my brain to end the day right.
Everyday won’t be the same and if you are a parent, you might struggle to find any time at all on some days, making staying healthy all the more critical, as well as challenging.
However if you find that switch in yourself, that balance, nothing can stop you from being connected to your core.
Once you are to connect to your core, your anger, your unpleasantness, your demotivation, dissolves.
himalayaswithin 