Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?
I was at my in-laws’ with my younger daughter and my husband had stayed the night at his sister’s with my older daughter.
The next evening we were reuniting. As I drove into the parking space outside the house, we saw my husband at the gate with an eye on the road. We assumed that he must be waiting for our younger daughter. He went straight to her door to get her out of the car who was sitting next to my mother in law. My mother in law commented on how eagerly he was waiting for the daughter.
He replied to her which I didn’t hear as I had gotten out of the car. He said, he was actually waiting for me with a cup of my favourite coffee that he had half drunk.
My mission is to Live. Just live. Live every moment. With myself, my family, my children, my love, my friends. Just live.
To live, I may do things. I will need to work to earn, I will need a career for my ambitions, I will dream to give my children the best possible opportunity. I will do chores to run my household. I’ll give myself and my family some comforts. I’ll do things to survive but I won’t define that as living.
Above all, and beneath all, my mission is to Live. Live without regrets, live without hatred, live without jealousy. Live in full spirits. Live passionately. Live like a flowing river.
I was in the toilet with my daughter at the airport after we landed in India. She needed a wee and suddenly she realised she needed a potty too. Our family was waiting outside to receive us. I told my daughter that it’s ok, you can finish your potty and then we will go.
What she said next made my day and taught me a very good lesson.
She said, "Yeah, we can be slow. We don't have to be quick, we can choose to be slow"
It hit me hard. We constantly complain that time flies. But time is in our control. We can choose how fast or slow we want it to pass.
In the world of competition and race, it is so important to learn and teach our children to savour every moment, be conscious and aware in each moment, and really lead life slowly.
There is a lot of noise everywhere about inspiring people to never quit. “Successful people don’t quit” “Winners never quit, quitters never win” Social media is always flooded with these motivational quotes. But how does it impact us? Have we given a thought about how we interpret it or how we must interpret it? I believe such messages, when taken literally, can cause a lot of peer pressure, sometimes resulting in depression and self doubt.
Wisely quitting a path in time is a quality that is much less appreciated. Timely exit from a relationship can save a lot of trauma and can save someone from ruining their life. Sometimes if a path isn’t working, one must change it. The true interpretation lies in the fact that, never give up on your dreams or goals rather than on the path; you are allowed to change your path if your instincts say so.
Art is in finding a balance and using wisdom to quit. Wise quitting must be seen as a quality and must be appreciated.
What is your favorite holiday? Why is it your favorite?
When asked if I am a sea person or a mountain person, I answer based on what I am feeling at the moment. Because I am both. Some days the sea calls me and on others, mountains.
Tenerife offers both. Cherry on top is the sky gazing activity offered in Tenerife.
We spent a week in Tenerife with an itinerary that was a perfect mix of chilling, beach, hiking, exploring, star gazing and enjoying local wines.
I met my husband through matrimony. We chatted for couple of months, met, got engaged next day and got married a week later. 8 years after, still happily married.
In 2013-14, I went on week-long treks to the mighty, majesty Himalayas. Where we camped and trekked every day, beyond the civilization height. Survived without electricity, shower and most importantly phones!
Do you feel under constant pressure to be positive?
There are a lot of people talking a lot about staying positive, staying motivated, being productive, and what not. But do you think we are over-thinking? Why can’t we focus on being, just being. It is normal to be stressed, normal to be not elated in every single moment. Just normalizing and accepting ourselves for who we are can drive away a lot of stress too.
As I scroll my social media, I read positive quotes. I read inspirational and motivational quotes. I see inspirational videos. A recent video of about a 5 year old girl made me think. She was talking to herself, “I cannot do negative vibes, positive vibes (only)” in a very adorable manner. At first, it made me smile but then it occurred to me, why are we pulling kids at such a young age into all this charade. What are we teaching our kids? Are we teaching them to ignore negative vibes and focus on positive only? Then, we are really teaching them to live only half life. Because like coin, life has two sides, and one doesn’t come without the other. I wouldn’t want my child to know at such a young age about positive or negative vibe. Vibe is a vibe.
Instead, I would teach my kid to recognize and differentiate between vibes and teach them manage all types of vibes.
Do you know how science defines light? Absence of darkness. So, if the concept of darkness vanishes, the purpose of light loses its value. Do you see the correlation?
By focusing too much on what we don’t want, that’s what we end up getting. Then, we see people on social media who are going through a so-called “high” phase, we feel jealous and blame social media to be the source of our depression. We constantly unknowingly compare ourselves to others and put ourselves in this race of being positive.
Are we not putting lot of expectations on ourselves? We cannot be climbing mountains every day. We cannot have a flawless relationship. We cannot have a flawless self.
If you have been following my blog, you’d know that it started as an excursion experience sharing blog. I would pick a trail from Surrey or Hampshire council website and would set off. However, over time it evolved, and I started sharing experiences from other aspects of life. Hiking experience changed over the last few years for me after I had my child. It had been a while since I had been in the woods on my own, when I received news from internal Philips communication channel that Philips had joined hands with Chiltern Charity Run to support a mental health charity called Mind.
Mental health is something that has been my focus for the last couple of years. I have learned to recognise that mental health needs as much conscious attention as we pay to our physical health. Both are interlinked in some way but they both need to be addressed individually to achieve an overall balanced fitness. As I develop deeper understanding, I realise there are several layers to mental health and that there are lots of taboos attached too. We take our mental fitness too much for granted and tend to turn a blind eye subconsciously.
Chiltern charity event was the perfect amalgamation of my evergreen hobby and my recently revealed truth. I grabbed the opportunity and chose for the 10k run (or walk) in an endeavour to find peace amongst the woods as well as support the cause for my belief.
Two of my lovely friends decided to join me in this adventure who were as unsure as me if we’d make it. Not worrying about the result, the trio embarked upon the journey catching up after a long time. We talked about our work, fitness, work life balance, challenges and touched upon mental health aspect of our lives. One of the girls is a practicing GP who shared some very interesting but eye-opening insights into mental wellbeing.
The hike was amid woods close to Henley on Thames. Henley is a beautiful town on the river Thames in Oxfordshire. The weather was kind to us on the day – not too hot, nor too cold. The calmness of woods began having an impact on us soon after we started. We took a break at about 4.7kms for about 10 mins and had some snacks. That break helped me cross the line of being too conscious about my walk and being able to surrender myself to nature.
Soon after we resumed, I left my friends behind, not on purpose, just the terrain and a bit of consistent speed. I crossed a few people who were ahead of me and shortly I found myself alone in the walk. That put me in the space where I could connect with myself through nature. I kept pausing every so often to take in the scenery and to allow myself to absorb into the moment. Without realising, the charity’s purpose of mental health was being fulfilled. My mind was unwinding, and life’s purpose was becoming clearer.
The final patch of the walk, approximately last 3 kms, were complete wonderous for me. There was no one I could see in front of me or behind me. There was open ground on side and dense woods on the other. This patch had concrete road to walk on, unlike the rest of the hike which was mostly off-road and woody. During this time, there was one moment where I could simply let go of everything, including myself and be totally tuned in with the universe.
As I came nearer to the final turn, crossing which I would be back into real world, I turned around and kissed the woods good-bye, making a promise to myself to visit them soon.
I thank Chiltern Charity and Philips for giving me this excellent opportunity and to enable me to disconnect.
himalayaswithin 