Long time ago, a friend of mine asked me, if I also get 24 hours a day like everyone else?
There has been something going on in my head since a few days but have not been able to put a finger to it. Driving this morning to work, a thought triggered, and it took me back to the moment, few years ago, when my friend was amazed with how much I can do in 24 hours.
I was thinking about how will I manage if get into a role that has more responsibilities than I have now? Will I be able to do justice to my family in terms of my time and responsibilities? Will I be able to do justice to myself? Will it affect my physical and mental health? All these questions led to me to think that, hey, my life has changed a lot in the past few years, but I still have never compromised on things I like to do. Writing, for example! Agreed, I have had to put my interests away for a bit now and then, but I have always managed to find my way back. How?
This “How?” led me to understand about intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation. Extrinsic motivation is that you do things only when you have to or are driven by external motivator. For example, going to yoga class because your friend goes – which is fine – question is what do you do when your friend skips the class? Do you skip as well? Or do you work hard because you want to do better than your colleague and seize that promotion?
Extrinsically motivated individuals will always need a reason to do something. But what happens when that external motivator is taken away? They lose purpose. Intrinsically motivated individuals, on the other hand, do not need any external driver to do something. They find time for what they think is important for them. They have a force within them that drives them.
Internally motivated people do things they enjoy for themselves. Yes, they enjoy company, but at the same time, being a loner doesn’t scare them. They constantly find ways to pursue their interests no matter the odds.
So, let’s take this opportunity to introspect and try to understand ourselves better. In MBA, I had learned about Stephen Covey’s time management matrix which I would like to modify a bit for us here. The more we try to focus on Quadrant 4, we will feel more peaceful and happier in life. We generally tend to get caught up in activities within quadrants 1 to 3 and always push behind the activities in quadrant 4.
The paramount question is how to focus on quadrant 4 when we have so much going on? Job, kids, families, commitments, it’s maddening. So, here I have tried to put down some pointers that might help you.
- List the activities in your daily routine that fall under quadrants 1 to 3
- How much of your time do they take away?
- Do these activities require to be done by you? Can anyone else do it?
- Which activities drain you physically? Can you get domestic help to do it?
- Which activities drain you mentally? Is there anyway you can share those activities?
- Which activities can be pre-planned? Like, can you batch cook? Or can you plan your social commitments?
- Are there any activities that can be done while they are still manageable? For e.g., laundry. I find doing laundry more regularly actually makes it manageable and less effort consuming.
- Which are the activities that you can automate? For e.g., setting a direct debit for your regular bills, having a dishwasher, or having a multicooker.
- Which are the activities that you can do away with sometimes? Like, for me, it is ok if my house is messy, it must be clean though. But I can be at peace if there are toys lying around that are not in my way. Identify such activities and learn to give them a pass sometimes.
Basically, try to minimise and plan the activities in quadrant 1 to 3. This will allow you to have more time on your hands to focus on the activities in quadrant 4. The more you do it, the more organised you will become. The more organised you are, the more time you will have to pursue your Ikigai!
Yes, all of us get 24 hours and working towards your Ikigai for a few of those hours/minutes- makes this world a better place for you!
Written by: Chahna D
Edited by: Milauni T
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